Authentic Pride, or Fabricated Pride?

1932 was the last time the United States won the medal count at a Winter Olympics. Coincidentally, it was the only time the United States had ever led the final medal count. This seemingly appalling statistic has led the U.S.A. to the drawing board to find a solution.

There were two possibilities over the last 78 years that would provide the U.S.A. a chance to get back to the top. First, we could just get better at the current Olympic events. This would require a little bit of training, practicing, skill, and talent. Seems like too much work for me.

So then the U.S.A. took a look at option number two. If we introduce a bunch of new events into the Winter Olympics before the other countries can get good at them, we have a chance at winning more metals. The results have been nothing less than spectacular.

Sort of.

Basketball became an Olympic event years ago, and who won gold every year? That is until, well I won’t go there. Softball was dominated by us, that is until, we won’t go there.

So for the winter Olympics, we make snowboard half-pipe an event, and we dominate—only until Shaun White calls it quits. Then we have to come up with some new event that the rest of the world has never heard of.

The way I see it, a century from now, there will be almost as many events as the population of Indonesia, hardly making the achievement of being there admirable.

My solution is to filter out the unnecessary events through a logical approach.

First of all, eliminate all events that are based on the opinions of the judges. Goodbye figure skating, ice dancing, gymnastics, moguls, diving, synchronized diving, synchronized swimming, and the list goes on. Why? It just opens the door for controversy. Ask Evgeni Plushenko.

Second of all, eliminate sports. Sounds absurd until you understand the difference between sport and game. The simplest way to define the difference is that you physically play defense in a sport. Football is one third defense. Basketball, though debatable, plays defense. Soccer, hockey, field hockey, and just about all those other team sports that are awarded a metal for preventing the other competitors from maximizing their talent should be eliminated.

These are the Olympic Games. These individuals are here to showcase their talents, skills, and hard work, not prevent others from doing so.

Inspired to fail

If any of my readers are at all like me, you may be tired of all the inspirational sports movies that Hollywood has barraged us with in recent years. To be completely honest, I haven’t watched “Blindside”, “Rudy”, or “Hoosiers”, but I have seen “Remember the Titans” and “Coach Carter”. It just seems to me that there are only so many inspirational story lines to go around before you’ve seen it all.

In the aftermath of Super Bowl XLIV, I can’t but help to imagine the movie that is going to come out in five years about New Orleans and the ensuing “Seabiscuit” story line that will dupe us into thinking that New Orleans is a great American city. That’s right, it’s only a matter of time before “Invictus II: XLIV” comes to a big screen near you.

And how much inspiration have these movies actually garnered in the lives of the people who view them? After watching “Miracle”, I played racquetball against a much better opponent and still got slaughtered.

After watching “Cool Runnings”, I lost by almost two minutes in the 400 meter hurdles.

Before a golf tournament, I watched Tiger Woods’ top 10 shots of his career in an effort to at least help myself think that I had a chance at not coming in last place. The result, 2nd to last place by 2 strokes.

I was set up to fail by the empty inspiration that Hollywood fed to my already sunken morale. It’s just a matter of time before this instant classic does the same for you.