It Must Suck to be Good

Ben Bernanke has been under fire because of this recession, only because he is the head honcho of the most powerful organization in the world during the time of the economic crisis.  But what I don’t understand is why people are so quick to point fingers at him when they were the ones taking their money out of the stock market, they were the ones trying to sell their houses, they are the ones that signed the paperwork to buy their houses

All Ben Bernanke did was literally everything he could do.  Under principles of modern Keynesian economics, I’m at a loss of what else he could have done.  He suggested the stimulus package, he lowered interest rates, he purchased U.S. Treasuries and bonds.  The only thing he didn’t do was Billie Jean, but that’s only because she wasn’t his lover, Mark Sanford perhaps?

And speaking of Mark Sanford, who saw that one coming?  He’s only the best governor in the United States with plans to do something presidential in 2012.  He hiked the Appalachian Trail all the way down to Argentina?  At least he’s been truthful. Perhaps not faithful, but truthful.  He’s half of Bill Clinton.

I remember when Mark Sanford first ran for a seat in the House of Representatives years ago.  The commercials that ran on the tube included his wife and children.  He always talked about himself as a family man.  With Mrs. Argentina, I guess he’s more like families man.  

My understanding is that this Mrs. Argentina’s name is actually Maria Belen Chapur and she’s some 43 year old married, but separated hag.  Have you wondered about how he actually met this woman?  According to foxnews.com, she lives next to the zoo.  Pictures haven’t popped up on the internets yet, but I would assume that this one may be pretty close.                                    

So the big topic in the news is how this is going to affect the political scene now and in the future.  People have requested that he step down and resign as governor of South Carolina.  I personally feel that his admission is simply going to help his cause in 2012.  You know his competitors are going to dig up his affair on order keep him from winning.  A loss would be devastating considering he is one of the best politicians of our generation.  But then again, how can you trust someone that has flirted with some international entity?  That's what Benedict Arnold did, and we know how that one ended.

Back to Bernanke.  Can you imagine the mess we would be in if he weren't the money manager?  Not only is the media complaining him now, but he received a lot of flack at the inception of his appointment.  Even the dean of the Columbia Business School, Glenn Hubbard felt he was more qualified.  

So what exactly makes Mr. Bernanke the most qualified for this position? He only wrote the book on economic policy during the Great Depression.

When President Bush appointed him to the position following Alan Greenspan's retirement, do you think he saw the economic downturn coming? Of course he did. Otherwise he would have hooked me up with the job.

My only request is that before you start complaining about his performance, offer suggestions and tips on what he could have done better. I think he would be pleasantly surprised if you could come up with a better solution than he did. After all, he's only the expert on the economic activities of the only economic downturn that would top this one.

Disclaimer: the only unfaithful activity that I am guilty of since I have been married was when I shopped at Kmart despite being part owner of Wal-Mart. I'm such a rebel.

Next weeks' topic: Michael Jackson, a model of the U.S. economy.

Wasted GDP

I'm in Arizona right now so any in depth blog would be a mere waste of vacation time. So I just wanted to share some of my thoughts during the trip down.

As stated last week, the topic for the week covers bad drivers. Instead of focusing on the poor driving skills of 1J in Idaho, the inability for people to understand and use the roundabout, the failure to use turn signals, and the bad habit of driving ten miles below the speed limit, I wanted to turn our attention to the consequences that take place as a result of these inept vehicle operators.

Just answer this question, on average, how much time do you lose per day as a result of bad drivers, whether being in a car wreck, waiting on a car wreck, stuck behind a senior citizen who somehow escaped from the nursing home. My estimation is about five minutes a day. It may be less in rural areas, and it may be a lot more in urban areas, but for this topic I'm just going to estimate 5 minutes as the approximate amount of time lost per person each day as a result of bad drivers.

The United States has about 300 million people in it. Let's just assume that maybe a third of them contribute to GDP. That leaves us with 100 million people. According to my calculations, that is about 500 million minutes per day that is lost as a result of poor drivers. That's 8.33 million hours a day that is wasted. and let's assume that the average pay per hour is $15, that's $125 million per day.

Here's something that is more astounding. With 8.33 million hours a day, you could supply more than 100 million full-time jobs.

So with unemployment that is as high as it is, it may be something to think about. People blame the economy for losing their jobs, but what if everyone who drove did not get their licenses from a box of Cracker Jacks?

It seems to me that this would be a solution to our most valuable resource...time. What would you do with all this extra time?

IBM employs 400,000 people. 100 million jobs would mean that the United States could sustain another 250 companies similar to IBM. Ruminate on that one.

So the next time you think about jumping into a car, keep in mind that the more people you slow down, the more damage you are doing do to our economy.

Disclaimer: My inabilities as a driver stem from being raised in South Carolina. Just because I'm from there does not mean that I was born for NASCAR.

Next weeks topic: TBA

Organic Insurance

One of my many observations from working at a grocery store is that of the increasing number of “organic” items, from organic rice to organic beans; from organic barbeque sauce, to organic chocolate chips.  My understanding is that organic means that the product was not tampered with as it was growing and processing.  In other words, no pesticides, herbicides, or any other -cides.  I’m not sure how that works out.  I remember neglecting my farms on Sim Farm as a kid and all my crops crapping out on me.  Little did I know that I would start a fad.

So when I use organic, I’m referring to the intentional neglect of something in order to allow it to become more favorable or desirable. 

The topic of this particular blog is that of insurance, more specifically that of the life variety.  As in that annoying little bill that you pay every month that that you never seem to see a return on.  That’s because you don’t.

Let’s just pretend for a moment that there is a way that you can enjoy the benefits of life insurance without the contracts, written checks, and headaches.  Let’s imagine a world without door-to-door insurance salesmen.  Let’s conjure up a society in which “Bob” doesn’t have to worry about making the decision to either starve a slim bank account or to protect his family financially just in case he were struck by lightning ate age 34.

This conceptualized idea is something what we call free market capitalism.  If we create a market for our organs instead of donating them, our little imaginary world becomes reality.  No more insurance payments, no more junk mail from Metlife, no more worries.

I’m going to compare this market to that of buying or selling a used car.  If you were looking to sell your 2003 Chevy Malibu, you would make sure the engine ran well, the body looked good and the car was clean.  Can you imagine how much healthier people would be if they knew the value of their organs?  No more drugs, no more cigarettes, no more inorganic rice.  People would run a 5k everyday.  I know I wouldn’t consume as much potato chips as I currently do.  

A 2002 Ford Taurus would generally sell for quite a bit more than a 1994 Taurus because it would have fewer miles on it.  The younger the person is when they die, the more valuable their organs would become.  

The market is out there.  Just ask John Q.  Waiting lists are a mile long for people who are in need of a new kidney.  How many diabetics are out there that would want a new pancreas?  How many victims of heart failure would pay top dollar to get a new one?  How many people do you know take weekly trips to the hospital for dialysis treatments?

So I say leave the charities up to the Salvation Army.  Let’s create a new market.  Perhaps this may destroy another market, but I don’t think the makers of the cassette tape took it to hard when compact discs took over.  Better technology, better ideas, and better ways of doing things make this world a better place.

This idea is what I call “organic insurance”.

Disclaimer:  Don’t call me a hypocrite just because my driver’s license indicates that I am an organ donor.

Next weeks topic:  Bad drivers.

GM KO'ed

Well, now that General Motors is officially a thing of the past, I want to dedicate some time to the company.  This obituary is merely a collection of my thoughts days after the death of our beloved GM.

I remember years ago watching the ads for GM as they proclaimed themselves to be the “heartbeat of America”.  Years later, Chevy was “like a rock”, using music from rock legend Bob Seger.  Then there was the “American Revolution”, and now we know of GM as being “professional grade”, that is before their failing grade revealed that the “rock” referred to years ago was actually talc.  So much for professional.  

How did such a massive company go bankrupt so fast?  It couldn’t be anything that they did.  They advertised during the Super Bowl.  They created cars that...drove.  It has to be our fault.  We insisted on buying our BMW’s from Germany, our Camrys, our Sonatas, and Accords, while we turned our backs on the well built, fuel economical Hummers.  If only we could turn back the hands of time.

The “heartbeat of America” is no longer beating.  So if America’s heartbeat has stopped, how long does it take before America is pronounced dead? 

Ownership of this now lifeless body has been divided amongst several parties.  The majority owner right now is the U.S.  As in us, the taxpayers.  We paid a ridiculous amount of money to take a 60% ownership of a failed company.  Obama said that we had to do it because GM was too big to fail.  Weren’t antitrust laws supposed to prevent companies from getting too big to fail?  So much for those laws.  Obama went on to say, and I’m paraphrasing here, that government intervention was more like life support while we are waiting for America’s heartbeat to resurrect.  Once this GM gets back on its feet, the government will sell its 60% stake.  That would be a revolution from America.

Throughout this nationalization process, I found it odd that Canada was given a 12% stake in the company.  I thought this to be odd, because now a foreign country owns part of America’s heartbeat.  I’m probably making up a word here, but I think this is more like internationalization.  

And what happens when the U.S. government lets go of GM?  Does this obsidian become Canada’s heartbeat?  I guess this would be the economic version of a heart transplant.  

So now we would have to assume that Ford becomes America’s new heartbeat, unless the government never relinquishes its stake, in which case GM would be the heartbeat of North America.  But let’s assume that like all other politicians, Obama keeps his word and GM becomes an independent company again.  

I happen to drive a Ford Taurus, only because I took advantage of its poor resale value.  I must admit, I’m not opposed to having a heart that is Ford tough.

Back to the subject of GM.  There are two ways to make a company more profitable.  More sales, lower costs.  Reports are circulating that GM is set to sell its Hummer brand to, of all countries, China.  Great, there goes another portion of our heartbeat.  I guess this is GM’s way of killing two birds with one stone.  It will sell its costliest brand.  Brilliant.  Perhaps there is a lesson that our struggling economy can learn from this.  We should sell our most cost inefficient portion of the government to China.  I guess this would imply that everyone age 63 and older would now be shipped to China.  No more medicare, social security, and Florida.

General Motors began in September of 1908.  That’s almost 101 years ago.  Anyone that is that old shouldn’t be alive.  I guess this is our way of paying social security to such old entity.  Thirty-five years of back-pay.

My solution would be to let nature take its course.  Out with the old, in with the new.  Let a new car company grow and become an adult.  Perhaps this would allow Carbon Motors to expand beyond specialized vehicles and become a household name.  I’d consider one.  And how to deal with unemployment?  Just tell the members of the UAW to sell their Audis and buy a cheaper used car, perhaps a Cavalier.  That will at least buy them some time.  

Disclaimer:  As an optimist, I will admit that I am half Korean, not half American.  Therefore, I am exempt from any accusations of disloyalty to American cars.  

Next weeks topic:  Organic insurance.