Stupid People Should Never Breed

In Arkansas, Lavonne Drummond posted one of the more unusual auctions on ebay, the right to name her unborn child. Due in September, she is hoping to raise $25,000. It sounds like an awesome plan to raise money until you hear the rest of the story. This story has a lot of people upset simply because she is exploiting her unborn child, but I see a myriad of other inconsistencies with her story that should piss even more people off.

Lavonne is the mother of six at the age of 36. Her oldest is 19, which means she got pregnant in high school. Chances of her actually finishing high school? Slim. Her husband is a Navy sailor stationed in Virginia and he apparently doesn’t even know about this entrepreneurial opportunity yet.

She posted this auction because she says in an economy like this, and with that many children, day care is too expensive. If I had a 19, 16, and 14 year old, I would have plenty of day care options. As the oldest of four, I was the first option for my parents as soon as I turned 12.

Her gayvy Navy sailor’s income isn’t enough apparently. It was enough for the two of them and their six children, but now that he’s gone, with one less mouth to feed, it’s not enough. Makes perfect sense to me.

On top of that, with his low income, I’m sure they qualify for Medicaid, and his military benefits mean that they will pay close to nothing for the birthing process. That $25,000 will be tax free, and technically doesn’t count as income, so it wouldn’t affect her status with food stamps and all her other welfare fountains.

With the $25,000 that she raises, her plan is to buy a new “trustworthy” car. Are you kidding me? Child exploitation for a new car? Any car that you buy brand new doesn’t qualify as trustworthy in my book.

With that $25,000, her first purchase should be birth control. For stupid people, seven children are seven too many. Stupid people shouldn’t breed.

She says that she enrolled at South Arkansas Community College where she hopes to get a degree in radiology. If she can’t afford child care for a 19, 16, 14, 3, 2, and 1 year old while working, how does she expect to be able to pay for their day care while in school? With the $25,000? That went to a car. How’s she paying for college, with her kid’s lunch money?

If a couple gets married, how difficult is it to manage their income? How difficult is it to decide how many children they could support? Seems like the formula would go something like this:

M(unemployed mother) + D(meager income dad) – bc(birth control) = 12(dirt-ball kids)

When you decide to get married and raise a family, seems to me that you should have a plan to cover the ensuing expenses. I’ve never tried to fly to Hawaii without money. I’ve never been to a grocery store without having some means of buying groceries. When you are eating cereal with a fork in order to save milk, something’s wrong.

The root of this problem is that they live in Arkansas. That’s right, the butt crack of America. The home of the toothbrush, not teethbrush. The place where inbred families are relocated. The state that is so poor, the poor man’s department store, Walmart, even found a home for their headquarters. The place so dirty, the mascot for their state university is a pig.

This place is a modern day, voluntary penal colony. Yet despite this, the U.S. Census Bureau projects Arkansas as one of the fastest growing populations by 2030.

I predict that the stupid people problem is only going to get worse if the Census Bureau is correct. A state full of Lavonne Drummonds would never be compensated.